If You Are Suffering From Abusive Experiences,
You Can Find Healing through applying the Divine Remedy
My name is Susan Gammage and I am the compiler of Abuse and Violence: Reasons and Remedies. I am honored that the quotes in this book have helped so many of my friends and acquaintances heal from the devastating effects of abuse and violence, and thrilled that the healing remedy of the Divine Physician will finally be available world-wide.
The quotes in this book have all helped me, too. I am a survivor of childhood abuse of every kind imaginable, and I know how hard the process of recovery can be. That's why I've spent the last fifteen years supporting survivors and their families.
If your life has been affected by physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual or ritual abuse; if you’ve experienced neglect and abandonment; if you’ve come from a war-torn country or felt powerless by all of the violence in the world and you're wondering if there's a way to heal, this book can help you. I can't guarantee that you will end up with your life back, but I can guarantee that the quotes in this book will help you find a deeper sense of peace and resolution than you have today.
When my son was born twenty-four years ago, I started to remember the sexual and ritual abuse I experienced when I was a child. Every year of his childhood triggered another memory of something that happened to me when I was that age. I was 27 years old and suddenly my entire life revolved around the abuse I'd experienced as a child. My days were filled with flashbacks, panic attacks, horror and terror. I lived from therapy session to therapy session, barely hanging on in-between. Facing the humiliation, brutality, and cruelty, I couldn't imagine getting through the pain.
It was the time when the proponents of “false memory syndrome” were most active, and I had a hard time finding therapists willing to believe the extreme forms of abuse I’d experienced or to sit with me and listen to my grief, anger, and anguish. I had no choice but to shoulder the burden I carried and find my own path toward healing and wholeness-without supportive family or therapists by my side.
I knew that the Bahá'í Writings must contain the remedy, but all I could find were quotes that felt punishing rather than healing. I was angry that there wasn’t a compilation out there that could point me in the right direction for my healing, and angrier still at one Bahá'í therapist who suggest I write it! Gradually, as I read the Writings morning and evening, I began to find inspiring, uplifting quotes which helped lift the burden of my pain and depression.
When I couldn’t find explanations I could understand, I wrote several letters to the Universal House of Justice, and received the start of an understanding which led me to put these experiences into a new context, and which allowed me to regain a sense of myself as a noble being. For this I am eternally grateful.
I know from personal experience how it feels to be cut off from your family because of childhood abuse. I have felt the anguish, grief, frustration, and loneliness caused by damaged relationships with siblings, parents, and children.
When I started talking about the abuse and asking questions about my childhood, my relationship with my parents went from bad to worse. They were threatened by my questions and unwilling to discuss any of my childhood experiences with me. They tried to have me declared crazy and to have my son taken away from me.
With the help of the Universal House of Justice, I decided to sever my relationship with my parents in order to keep my son safe. Later, when he was older, I tried to heal the rift, but my mother felt humiliated and angry. She accused me of heaping “the worst form of elder abuse” on her. My mother and brothers desperately wanted me to recant, to say it had never happened. Just as desperately, I wanted them to "break through their denial" and acknowledge what had happened.
For several years, I collected and traded quotes that helped explain issues that had me stuck. When asked to facilitate workshops on “Violence and Abuse”, I discovered that the quotes that had helped me so much assisted others as well.
Through this process I have learned several things:
- I can feel worthless AND know that I was created noble. God's love for me remains unchanged, despite what I have done or what was done to me.
- The abuse was abasing AND it is me who continues to keep it in that light. It is my job to rise above it, and accomplish that for which I was creates.
- The abuse was awful AND there's a context to put it in (See the sections on the Purpose of Life and the Role of Suffering and Tests).
- I can be in extreme pain as a result of my experiences AND I don't have to stay trapped there. I can focus my attention away from the pain and towards acquiring virtues.
- I can use a therapist AND when I don't have the money or my appointment is another week away, I can use the Divine Physician who is always available to me.
- I can be confused by feelings of anger, shame and low self esteem AND I can read about the role models of our faith: the heroes and martyrs of the Cause and of course, 'Abdu'l-Bahá, the Perfect Exemplar.
- The abusers are criminals and accountable for their actions AND my job is to focus on my own spiritual growth and leave the accountability to God.
- There is no us/them. Bahá'u'lláh tells us we are all sinners. The nature of our sins may vary from person to person (as do our tests), but no one is exempt, therefore there is no one to blame. I recommend the chapter on “Breaking the Cycle” because it has so many practical, do-able suggestions for the transformation of our characters.
In my life coaching practice, survivors of sexual abuse, parents estranged from their children over accusations of abuse, and other family members have repeatedly asked me to publish a resource that would help them resolve lives damaged by abuse. I’ve turned the principles I’ve studied, taught and lived for more than 20 years into this practical and inspiring guide that will help you get from where you are to where you want to be. Get ready to transform!
In Abuse and Violence: Reasons and Remedies, you will learn:
Chapter 1 - The Na
ture of the Problem
- The Purpose of Life
- Fate and Predestination
- Role of Tests and Difficulties
- The Causes
Chapter 2 – Types of Abuse
Chapter 3 – The Effects on the Victim and Consequences for the Abuser
Chapter 4 – The Remedies
Chapter 5 – Breaking the Cycle of Violence and Abuse
Chapter 6 – Living a Bahá'í Life
Chapter 7- The Role of Individuals, Families and Institutions
The Principles Always Work... If You Work the Principles
Taken together and practiced every day, these principles WILL transform your life beyond your wildest dreams!
“A great resource for those involved in counseling as well as a great reference for quotations that have a specific slant towards suffering and the healing process”
